I never really thought a lot about what my life would be like if I
became a mom. I assumed that I’d get pregnant, have the baby, and
eventually go back to work. It’s what most women do. I didn’t think I’d
have to choose between my career and my child.
After
I got pregnant, I worked right up until the designated time for my
leave and then took time off, just like every other mom at my office. I
planned to maximize my leave and then transition back to full-time work
over the course of a few months.
And then I had my son. They
laid him on my chest for the first time and my whole world shifted.
This tiny little human depended on me for his mere survival. What an
amazing responsibility I’d been handed!
I took my maternity
leave, as planned. But when it was over, I wasn’t ready to go back
full-time. We worked it out so I could work part-time. Yet even that
had to come to an end. My employer wanted me back in the office
full-time. I desperately searched for another job in a different
department, one that would allow me to continue to work part-time. I
found nothing. I wasn’t ready to leave my son five days a week. Some
women are ready to go back to the office, but I wasn’t one of them.
And I had to make a decision that very few men are
forced to make in the workplace: work full-time, or quit. There was no
middle ground for me. And while other women — and men — at work were
sympathetic, they couldn’t do anything to help me.
Why are we still forcing women to make these decisions? Why couldn’t I
have both? My office actually offers benefits to part-time workers,
which is why I so desperately wanted to find that part-time position.
But there weren’t any open jobs that fit the criteria. So I quit. But
that doesn’t mean I still don’t feel a little forced out.
There have been other choices: go to a conference? Take the kid? I had
to give up more than one business trip because I couldn’t leave my
infant. Men don’t have to choose between breastfeeding and travel. And
they certainly don’t take a baby with them. I was lucky enough to go to
BlogHer, which is extremely mom- and
baby-friendly. Childcare! Sessions where babies are welcome! That’s the
only conference I know of that goes to such lengths of accommodation.
So we have to choose again: our career or our child.
We’ve made many inroads in making things more equal for men and women
in the workplace, but we still have a long way to go. I’ve found an
alternate career that does accommodate my many roles: wife, mother,
writer, woman. It won’t make me choose between my career or my family.
I can have both. But not all parents are so lucky. I keep hoping for a
time when all industries, all jobs are more flexible for women,
regardless of whether they have children.
Images: morgueFile
By Becky Scott
Contributing Editor
Each day this week, AskPatty.com
will be presenting a different writer's perspective article on this
topic, and we hope our readers will come back to read each day's
installment. On Tuesday, Jody DeVere shares changing attitudes of women in the Auto Biz. On Wednesday, Brandy Schaffels discusses what it's
been like as a cargirl in the automotive publishing world, on Thursday Linda
Przygodski talks about what it has been like as a woman working in
sports, and on Friday Becky Scott shares her own challenges choosing between
career and motherhood . We hope you will read them all.
auto industry
