All of those things are important and it sounds like you are looking for a great car! I want to tell you about our great new dream car search tool. You can look up all the different features of different vehicles and even do side-by-side comparisons on vehicles to see which vehicles have what and compare against each other.
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Als, you might want to look into the Suzuki XL7, Subaru Outback (Subaru vehicles are known for the AWD feature), or Honda Element.
As far as AWD for icy weather, that is a good idea, however don't be afraid of getting a FWD (front wheel drive) vehicle because it will handle really well and better than a RWD (rear wheel). In icy conditions you want the weight of the vehicle to be on the wheels that give the traction (in this case, if it is a FWSD, the front ones would). When the weight of the vehicle is on those whells, you will get the best traction, therefore being the safest.
For example, when you apply the breaks, your weight transfers to the front of the vehicle. If you are driving an AWD or FWD car, you will be safest (most traction) when this happens!
It is also VERY important to use winter tires instead of all-season tires on your car. Check out this article on the Bridgestone Blizzak WS60 tire:
I hope this info helps! Also, check out www.epinions.com for consumer opinions on vehicles.